Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
