Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
