i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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