ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We are two peas in an std pod
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
