they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
