Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
