Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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