I think I am morally bankrupt
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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