He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
