I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
