Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
