I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
