they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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