i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
