Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
