ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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