His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
