I want to walk on stilts...naked
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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