She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
