The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
