i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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