dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
