Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
