Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
