I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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