You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize