I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize