their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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