I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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