my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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