So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
