I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
