i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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