How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
