I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize