Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
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