I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
