Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
