I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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