It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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