No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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