if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
