I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
