She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
