dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this beer tastes like vomit already
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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