The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
