I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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