In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize