final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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