Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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