It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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