Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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