The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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