So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize