he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
