Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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