whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The air taste purple.
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