It's like God shit irony all over that family
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i've created a new STD.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
