I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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