There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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