that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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