Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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