i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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