i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
