K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize