Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
